I am working toward being more transparent about my needs and boundaries with other people at the moment. Anyone who knows me may be aware that there is a slight running theme of territorialism within my relationship with my housemate over food & drink items (mine) left in the kitchen and then used by the other party without any warning and no effort to replace the used thing. I usually fume about such incidents silently and/or passive aggressively so I am currently trying to find other ways to shape our shared context to allow me access to more adult ways of being around this.
The conversation today went like this: (note – that a conversation happened at all is massive progress!)
Housemate: “Louise, can I ask you something? Would it be alright if I used that bottle of cava this evening, as it is just sitting there? I’ll replace it.”
Me: thinks for a minute. “Yep, that is okay. No problem”
Housemate: “Ah thanks.”
Me: “As long as you do replace it …” considers briefly, then continues with a purposefully measured tone “… cos if you forget, I’ll go apeshit on you.”