Last week was a good week in terms of studying, this week not so good. I am reminded just how horrendous working full time while studying part time is and how I almost always feel like I just don’t really have enough time for this. The prospect of reading Adorno for hours after a long and stressful day at work is just more than I could bear this evening. I chickened out after 1 hour and telephoned my Dad instead.
On a more positive note, my taught seminar last Friday was really very good and I even managed to make a reasonably sensible contribution. I try and push myself to say at least something each week, even though the thought of opening my mouth to speak makes me feel extremely anxious and I can feel my cheeks redden before I even form any words. I am hoping that if I just keep on practicing it will get easier!
Anyhow, I am just trying to hang on until the end of the week because I have a week off work next week. That whole, sacred, golden week is dedicated to research time for my next assignment. The prospect of not having to go to work and being able to stay at home and study is an attractive one. I am hoping that next week I will be able to think again and my research will start to make sense to me again.